The Business Trip

The Business Trip

I've come a long way, recently my husband left on a business trip that would keep him away over a few weeks (broken up by a couple days home over Christmas) and a couple years ago this would have destroyed me. I would have been depressed in the anticipation of being left alone to tend to everything, riddled with anxiety and hardly able to function paralyzed with inability to do my day to day activities. This time it's been completely different. I'm still counting the days to when we're able to get back to our normal schedule and have our favourite person home again but we're doing ok. I've learned a few things that make my husband being away on business trips a bit easier and I'll share those further down.
 I was inspired to write a blog when I realized this: I'm OK. That may sound odd to a lot of people but I've overcome quite a lot of adversity and challenges that most people don't have to deal with (and others deal with much more.), and it's taken me most of my life to finally be "ok". I'm sure later on I'll open up as to what those challenges are but it suffices for now to say I have both mental and physical issues to overcome. On top of my daily challenges I'm also currently blessed to be pregnant and while it's not been an easy pregnancy I'm elated, and feel fortunate to be able to have another baby that I've been reminding myself to be thankful even through this high risk pregnancy. Through it all I'm finally ok. I'm a happy person who seeks out positive things, truth and light. 

Onto the things that I've learned make things easier when my husband's away on business:

1. Have a support system

I married into an incredible family, my husband has a few great sisters and parents that have the patience and generosity of saints. I'm terrible at asking for help but at least I know it's there. I can call one of my husband's family members and ask for a last minute sitter or help with whatever I might need done. I can't say enough about my mother in law who often cares for both mine and my sister in law's children when we need to get something done without them like doctor appointments..of which I tend to have plenty. You may have your owns siblings, friends, visiting teachers, neighbours or friends of friends who can even help out or even just talk to about your concerns or difficulties.

2. Prepare

This seems like a bit of an obvious one but I mean really consider what you can prepare in advance and make your life easier. For me that's often food. On this last trip we only had two days notice before he had to leave on the plane. Immediately I went on the M&M meats website to pre order food and ready meals that we could pick up later that day since I hadn't done any freezer cooking. M&M meats has a ton of gluten free options which is perfect for people with celiac like myself! I try to get a good clean in before departure day, the vacuuming, laundry, folding, wiping down all the tables and counter tops. Even though I do these things daily, getting a little more ahead helps me feel more settled. I struggle with energy and often cannot do as much as many people can at one time so I break these preparations up over the day or so and enlist my husband if possible. 

3. Plan

Again another one that seems relatively straightforward. The biggest part of planning for me is around food and activities with the kids. My kids are pre school age and under so activities during the day and evening have to be planned around pre school, meals and naps. I plan out our meals, easy lunches,snacks and dinners for the time my husband will be away, or weekly if he'll be away longer than a week. I use the Mormon Mom Planner for planning and scheduling along with the calendar and google calendars on my phone, which can send me reminders since my attention jumps around and I can never remember what I meant to do at what time. I also try to plan activities to do in the evening, this may be a specific colouring sheet, a walk, going to the community lake, playing in the snow. The activities don't have to be grand to keep the kids entertained and me feeling like we're still having a good time together.  I have Pinterest boards for dinners, kids meals, and kid friendly activities that are my go to. 

4. Find an Interest

I find the night time was difficult when my husband first started going on business trips because what could I do with no one to talk to after my evening chores were done? I felt lonely in the dark of night but I found a passion for reading on my kobo and getting a ton of books from the library online. I also love to journal, colour in adult style colouring books and listen to music. I of course enjoy a variety of forms of social media and like seeing what my friends and bloggers are up to but I need non phone screen activities to unwind. I especially enjoy starting something new when my husband is gone, always wanted to journal? Start. Have a book on your list that you've never gotten around to? Make it a goal to finish before he returns. have photos sitting on the computer that need to be made into a book? Make it!

5. Remember: Time Passes

When experiencing anxiety or depression individuals often forget that time passes. The business trip will come to an end and you will get your husband back. You will return to your typical routine or you will settle into a new one if the trips are frequent. Time passes no matter what you do so planning, preparing and having an idea of what to do with that times is helpful and makes the time feels as though it's passing faster. 

Business trips used to be the bane of my existence but now they're much less of a big deal, I still miss my husband and wish he weren't gone but there's no tears, no emotional breakdown or mess to clean up in the wake. If you have additional tips, favourite freezer recipes or anything that helps you deal with your husband leaving on a business trip let me know!