My Guests Can't Eat Anything!

My Guests Can't Eat Anything

 *links will take you to helpful websites with more info! 

Dietary restrictions are becoming increasingly common, allergies, unique diets, religious food guidelines, and the list goes on, but you can handle it! I love being asked to dinner or having dinner brought over- what mom doesn't?! But immediately my own dietary restrictions pop into my head and I think 'oh no, this person has no idea'. I have Celiac disease and have had it for about 15 years; I'm a pro at feeding my family gluten free foods along with catering to our unique likes and dislikes and multiple other allergies that I have. I cringe as someone asks "does your family have allergies?", I always think, do I tell them or just arrive and not eat anything while the rest of my family enjoys a lovely dinner. I tell people if it's a small gathering with one or two other families, but I typically don't mention it if it's a potluck or larger gathering because a large gathering provides me the opportunity to bring something I know I can eat.  With my children's allergies I tell people 100% of the time because a) there's only one b) my child eating something their allergic to is more likely if it's present since they can't always tell what ingredients were used. So what can guests with restrictions do and what can hosts do to make the meal work better? Most of my suggestions include examples geared towards gluten free diets but I too have multiple allergies and these suggestions can be used for multiple restrictions. 

50 Gluten Free Crock Pot Meals

Guests

It starts with you! Most hosts appreciate being told of dietary restrictions and many have delt with restrictions or have family members with restrictions! For Celiac disease I often list off to hosts what I call "The Big Five": (Wheat) Flour, Barley, Rye, HPP  (Hydrolyzed Plant Protein) and HVP (Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein). "The Big Five" have been in my experience the most common allergens that I run into during my day to day cooking. Let your hosts know to check sauces, proteins, and carb products for these. If you have multiple unique allergies you may choose to text or email them a list if you're allergies aren't so easy to narrow down. 

Be armed with suggestions, They wanted to cook a pasta dish? Great! You know where to get allergen/gluten free pasta and you can drop it off before hand or offer to cook that portion of the meal at your place and bring it to the host's. Let the host know that sauce free meats and herb and S&P seasoned meats and and veggies are always gluten free! Let them know that potatoes and rice are naturally gluten free!

Offer to cook a portion of the meal, bring something, buy ingredients for the meal or cook along side the hosts at their house. If they say they have everything under control make sure they know they can call or text you with questions- there usually are some!

Help the host with some ideas of things that your family typically cooks, this can help the task seems less daunting when the hosts sees that you do in fact eat, and it's often "normal" food. 

You don't have to feel embarrassed or apologetic for your restrictions- your restrictions are what you need to be healthy and happy in life and that's ok! Do understand that as popular as dietary restrictions are many people have never had to deal with them or cook for someone with your unique set and it may take a great deal of preparation and learning on behalf of the host. Don't feel pressured to eat something that you know is not within your allowed foods, the evening will be ruined for everyone if you end up sick or otherwise unwell.  Be a gracious dinner guest and know the host has been doing a lot to prepare for you as a guest! Enjoy the food and company!

Hosts

Your act of service will not go unnoticed, asking someone over for dinner or bringing someone a meal makes people feel so loved and cared for and helps friendships develop and grow! The first thing you need to do when you invite someone over or offer to bring a meal is ask about restrictions. When they let you know what their restrictions are don't panic. There are ways to make the meal dietary restriction friendly. You don't have to make 100% of the meal to suit their restrictions if the restrictions are unique to one guest. The main portions will usually suffice, but it is so very appreciated when the person can take part in a large portion of the meal. When bringing a meal to a family try to have as much of the meal within their restrictions. 

Plan what you want to make in advance and ask the person with restrictions if there's anything that sticks out that might be a problem, it's up to them to say x,y, and z, don't suit my restrictions and here's what we can do about that. You are not alone, enlist the guest in planning, prepping, cooking etc if you feel you need more help. Ask the guests what they typically cook if you're thinking "What in the world can this person possibly eat?!". Let the guest know what you were planning to make and you never know it may already suit their restrictions; I've had this happen multiple times and I have a laundry list of allergies! 

Google. There are plenty of suggestions online about what foods are _____ free and how to alter foods to suit various restrictions. The person with the restrictions will always be your greatest wealth of knowledge so grab their phone number or email and get in touch with any questions. Pinterest (click the link to see 50 gluten free crock pot dinners!) is another great source with entire menus that are free from a variety of restrictions. 

 Don't feel intimidated by restrictions, the guest can help you, the internet can help you, and you're probably already cooking some meals that are suited to the guests needs and you don't even know it. Most times meals require small tweaks- this brand of ____ instead of that brand, and are much less difficult to be made to suit guest's needs than hosts initially think. Use your expert- your guest- to help you whether it's with a question or cooking a portion of the meal or coming over early to cook along side you. 

Know that the person with the restrictions is so grateful for having you cook them dinner, most guests are but people with allergies know just how much work you've put into it and appreciate it that much more.

D&C Section 81 encourages us to serve and uplift others, any act of service helps to lift the hands that hang and strengthen feeble knees; a meal can quite literally strengthen people. 

5 Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees. 

I feel so loved when a meal is brought over or we're invited for dinner. Knowing that someone took that time to think about me and my family, plan and possibly bring a meal to me helps me feel the spirit and God's love in such a strong way. Thank you to all of those who have taken my allergies head on and never made me feel like I was putting you out at all. A meal is one of the best ways to get to know another family- even when you drop one off- and is an incredible act of service that never goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I'm fortunate to have so many wonderful examples in my life of people who I see doing this wonderful act of service and I'm grateful that there's so many selfless people who take the time to consider other. 

Let me know if you have any tips for hosting or being a guest with dietary restrictions!

The Business Trip

The Business Trip

I've come a long way, recently my husband left on a business trip that would keep him away over a few weeks (broken up by a couple days home over Christmas) and a couple years ago this would have destroyed me. I would have been depressed in the anticipation of being left alone to tend to everything, riddled with anxiety and hardly able to function paralyzed with inability to do my day to day activities. This time it's been completely different. I'm still counting the days to when we're able to get back to our normal schedule and have our favourite person home again but we're doing ok. I've learned a few things that make my husband being away on business trips a bit easier and I'll share those further down.
 I was inspired to write a blog when I realized this: I'm OK. That may sound odd to a lot of people but I've overcome quite a lot of adversity and challenges that most people don't have to deal with (and others deal with much more.), and it's taken me most of my life to finally be "ok". I'm sure later on I'll open up as to what those challenges are but it suffices for now to say I have both mental and physical issues to overcome. On top of my daily challenges I'm also currently blessed to be pregnant and while it's not been an easy pregnancy I'm elated, and feel fortunate to be able to have another baby that I've been reminding myself to be thankful even through this high risk pregnancy. Through it all I'm finally ok. I'm a happy person who seeks out positive things, truth and light. 

Onto the things that I've learned make things easier when my husband's away on business:

1. Have a support system

I married into an incredible family, my husband has a few great sisters and parents that have the patience and generosity of saints. I'm terrible at asking for help but at least I know it's there. I can call one of my husband's family members and ask for a last minute sitter or help with whatever I might need done. I can't say enough about my mother in law who often cares for both mine and my sister in law's children when we need to get something done without them like doctor appointments..of which I tend to have plenty. You may have your owns siblings, friends, visiting teachers, neighbours or friends of friends who can even help out or even just talk to about your concerns or difficulties.

2. Prepare

This seems like a bit of an obvious one but I mean really consider what you can prepare in advance and make your life easier. For me that's often food. On this last trip we only had two days notice before he had to leave on the plane. Immediately I went on the M&M meats website to pre order food and ready meals that we could pick up later that day since I hadn't done any freezer cooking. M&M meats has a ton of gluten free options which is perfect for people with celiac like myself! I try to get a good clean in before departure day, the vacuuming, laundry, folding, wiping down all the tables and counter tops. Even though I do these things daily, getting a little more ahead helps me feel more settled. I struggle with energy and often cannot do as much as many people can at one time so I break these preparations up over the day or so and enlist my husband if possible. 

3. Plan

Again another one that seems relatively straightforward. The biggest part of planning for me is around food and activities with the kids. My kids are pre school age and under so activities during the day and evening have to be planned around pre school, meals and naps. I plan out our meals, easy lunches,snacks and dinners for the time my husband will be away, or weekly if he'll be away longer than a week. I use the Mormon Mom Planner for planning and scheduling along with the calendar and google calendars on my phone, which can send me reminders since my attention jumps around and I can never remember what I meant to do at what time. I also try to plan activities to do in the evening, this may be a specific colouring sheet, a walk, going to the community lake, playing in the snow. The activities don't have to be grand to keep the kids entertained and me feeling like we're still having a good time together.  I have Pinterest boards for dinners, kids meals, and kid friendly activities that are my go to. 

4. Find an Interest

I find the night time was difficult when my husband first started going on business trips because what could I do with no one to talk to after my evening chores were done? I felt lonely in the dark of night but I found a passion for reading on my kobo and getting a ton of books from the library online. I also love to journal, colour in adult style colouring books and listen to music. I of course enjoy a variety of forms of social media and like seeing what my friends and bloggers are up to but I need non phone screen activities to unwind. I especially enjoy starting something new when my husband is gone, always wanted to journal? Start. Have a book on your list that you've never gotten around to? Make it a goal to finish before he returns. have photos sitting on the computer that need to be made into a book? Make it!

5. Remember: Time Passes

When experiencing anxiety or depression individuals often forget that time passes. The business trip will come to an end and you will get your husband back. You will return to your typical routine or you will settle into a new one if the trips are frequent. Time passes no matter what you do so planning, preparing and having an idea of what to do with that times is helpful and makes the time feels as though it's passing faster. 

Business trips used to be the bane of my existence but now they're much less of a big deal, I still miss my husband and wish he weren't gone but there's no tears, no emotional breakdown or mess to clean up in the wake. If you have additional tips, favourite freezer recipes or anything that helps you deal with your husband leaving on a business trip let me know!